Difficult Conversations

Types of Difficult Conversations

Bad News

• Passing away of a close relative

• Having to return home

• Lack of Funds

Confrontational

• Inappropriate behaviour in team

• Poor performance/ Lack of Progress

• Difference in perspective/ misalignment

Problem Solving

How to Get Started

• Consult with your HR Person

• Preprocess with your Supervisor

• Don’t Take Things to Personally

• Debrief with HR and/or your Supervisor

Starting Phrases

• Bad news: “I have to tell you something that I know will be hard…”

• Challenging behaviour: “I have observed… and want to talk about that…”

• Challenging perspective: “I’ve heard you say a few times… I would like to learn more about that as I struggle with…”

Issue Presentation

• Bad news: clearly state the issue/decision/accident etc.

• Challenging behaviour: clearly describe in an objective way what was observed. 

• Challenging perspective: draw out the perspective and provide an alternative perspective.

Listen Well and Reflect Back

• “I’d like to get your perspective on this…”

• “I hear you say that…”

• “I’m sensing that you feel bit upset about this…”

Wrapping up in a Supportive Way

• Bad news: spend most of the time on emotional and practical support.

• Behavioral challenge: move to what can you do and how I can I support you in that

• Perspectives challenge: avoid debating, get a commitment to further think about it. Make an appointment to get back to it.

Closing

• Affirm the relationship

• Pray

Resources

Videos

• Dreading those difficult conversations- supervisor training

• 5 Tips for Managing Difficult Conversations

Training Documents

• Supervision: a space and place for difficult conversations

SIL References

• SIL staff Engagement Guidelines